Never Eat Alone
Written by Keith Ferrazzi.
⏱️ The book in three sentences
In today's face-paced, interconnected world, collaboration trumps competition.
A deep-rooted, vast network built on trust and exchange of value is the fundamental key to success
Devote yourself entirely and wholeheartedly to providing value to everyone you meet and you will be rewarded endlessly.
🪞 Reflections
Never Eat Alone is a business classic on the power, utility, and methodology of successful networking. Over almost 400 pages, Keith Ferrazzi, self-proclaimed super-connector, covers every aspect one could imagine about meeting new people, maintaining long-term bonds, and self-promotion. The new and updated version even delves into the social media tools that have engulfed our world since the book's original release.
From the outset, Keith outlines the necessary mindset. After all, we, ourselves, are half of the components that make up a successful relationship. It's absolutely imperative, Ferrazzi explains, to forget about scorekeeping. Networks and relationships aren't a zero-sum, win-lose, game of give-and-take. You can't "use up" all your favours from someone, nor should you consider the reverse true for those who come to you for aid.
Furthermore, not only should you never shy away from helping others, you should be actively considering how you can offer value to everyone you meet. Introducing them to a new contact, sharing knowledge or resources, or even just demonstrating gratitude and enthusiasm; small actions can have massive downstream benefits for the other person. Establishing yourself as a person who makes those benefits happen is a powerful social force.
While practicing the proper mindset is half the battle, the other half, other people, are much more complicated. The second part of the book comprehensively details all of the techniques Ferrazzi has accumulated and perfected over his career and how the reader can use them for themselves.
Keith's principles are not just for executives, extraverts or the extraordinary. Anyone reading Never Eat Alone can utilize these strategies. For example, introverts will benefit from the section's first chapter on doing their homework. Nowadays, almost everyone has a plethora of information about themselves on the internet. It just takes a few minutes to do a google search, scan someone's profile and draw up a long list of talking points that your target might be interested in discussing. Beyond that, the same list can be used as a potent starting point for brainstorming ways you could offer the other party value.
Extraverts, sales professionals and those willing to go the extra mile can use Ferrazzi's "warm calling" techniques. Small talk, sharing your passions and finding mentors and mentees are also covered. As is dealing with gatekeepers and following up after meetings.
Keith's take on social media usage is also compelling. The author admits to going overboard with LinkedIn when it was released, but frequently emphasizes the tool's effectiveness, going as far as to explain some of the algorithmic processing behind the web service.
Unfortunately though, despite much of the rock-solid advice, Never Eat Alone is very much a tale of two halves. While the first half is packed to the brim with useful and actionable techniques and lessons, the second half, feels much more theoretical and less exciting.
Maybe it's just my personality, but learning how to throw fantastic dinner parties, while being recommended to do it on an extremely regular basis is almost as exhausting as actually throwing a party itself.
Furthermore, if any one of you are as unenthused as I am with chatting on social media, learning how to near-constantly pop up in your contact's notification box by "pinging" personal messages, as Keith calls it, feels like a lot more work than its worth.
Nonetheless, overall, Never Eat Alone is a very good read. For those of you who love meeting new people, going out, and hosting guests this is a book for you. But, I also recommend this book for those of you like myself. If you feel like building relationships is fun and rewarding, but also tiring and occasionally a major distraction, this book may shift your perspective and the techniques given may just make being social, a little easier.
💥 Personal Impact
What really hit home for me was Ferrazzi's explanation of the importance of having a social media presence. Not the constant chatting, pinging, and cold-messaging mentioned above, nor the mindless browsing, liking and commenting that consumes most of our screen time. Rather, the sharing of content and building of your own personal brand.
Loyalty is a quality largely lacking in America's corporate culture. Employees are willing to leave their jobs for just about any increase in pay, flexibility, or opportunity. Corporations won't hesitate to cut staff when the economy takes a turn. That's not to say any of this is good, bad, or needs to change. It is not a political idea. The point is that we cannot count on one job taking us where we want to go. It's imperative to build your own personal brand on the internet by sharing your skills, thoughts and opinions. Creating content for the internet manifests over time into a sort of personal portfolio, increasing career and life opportunities by multitudes.
Keith calls it "engineering serendipity". When you create good content and share it on social media, those messages are always out there and always available to be stumbled upon by the right person at the right time. Undeniably, a large amount of luck is involved in success. So when you have an online presence, you are dramatically increasing the odds of getting lucky. Just be careful what you say, because as we all know, once a message is on the internet, it's there forever.
🗣 Top 3 Quotes
"Today’s primary currency is information, a wide-reaching network is one of the surest ways to become and remain thought leaders of our respective fields." - Pg. 12
"Nothing in my life has created opportunity like a willingness to ask, whatever the situation ." - pg. 51
"As I look back on my career, the recipe seems straightforward: I’d latch onto the latest, most cutting-edge idea in the business world. I’d immerse myself in it... I’d then distill that into a message about the idea’s broader impact on others and how it could be applied in the industry I worked in... Becoming an expert was the easy part. I simply did what experts do: I taught, wrote, and spoke about my expertise." - pg. 279